I Wasn’t Supposed To Be An Artist.

I Wasn’t Supposed To Be An Artist.


Hello there! So I am currently on a beach.
I’ve had to put the ol’ shades on because it was overcast and… now it’s not,
so these are probably going to come on off, on and off throughout the video. I’m
currently on vacation and this particular area I’m in, it’s like a
little remote island and I- it’s a very special place to me and I felt very
nostalgic coming back here. 2015 started off to be the worst year of my life,
my mum was very ill. It ended up a pretty good year but, um, in the beginning it was a
really tough year and coming here was like a real nice break from all of that.
First time I actually ever came here was four years ago and so much in my life
has changed since then that it’s kind of surreal to me. But when I first came here
I was in university, I was studying computer science which at the time I
thought I was gonna really enjoy because I always enjoyed like coding websites,
but it was all software related and every semester that went by, I hated it
more and more. I hated it and I was so scared because I was spending nearly
$40,000 in student loans to get a degree in something that I hated and I had no
idea what I was gonna do with it. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved to draw.
It’s something that I’ve always enjoyed so much but it was always something that
like, as a kid, you pick up a bit of paper and you draw, it’s like, “Oh, I like drawing!”
and then not do it for months. It was when I turned 16 that I started playing
this online game, it was called Small Worlds, don’t know if anyone else has played
that. And they used to have these little canvas graphic things that you could
draw on and you had like a thousand strokes before it ran out, it was all
digital art and it sounds so silly now but it was actually what really got me
into art in general. But even then it was just something I did for fun every so
often, it wasn’t something that I took overly seriously. It was just something
that I did for fun. So I had gone to work part-time at the shop Ulta, which is a
beauty shop, and I saved up over the course of 11 months just over $1,000 but
out of that money I actually purchased Photoshop when it was, you know, a
period of time where you could actually buy Photoshop, not get it as a
subscription. So I did that and I kind of transferred from this game to Photoshop
and even then, as much as I enjoyed digital art and I wanted to get better at it,
it was something that I used maybe eight- eight, nine times a year. I would make a
lot of fan art for things that I enjoyed, and um yeah, literally I would make about
eight or nine pieces, if that every single year because it was just
something that I did to just have fun, to keep distracted and keep myself busy
really, because it was something. It was pretty much the only thing I felt that I
was good at and something I wanted to improve at, but yeah it’s not something
that I ever in a million years considered doing as a job. I just enjoyed
making fan art on and off throughout the years so it wasn’t something that I ever
put a lot of practice into, it was just something that… I liked making fan art
and that was, that was basically it. I think as far as it went was that, “Ooh!
Maybe one day I could get this work licensed and then I could sell prints of
it!” but never like “oh this could be a full-time thing.” No way, NO way. You can’t- you can’t be an artist, you know, you can’t get a job as an artist. It’s that
stereotype that, oh you know, artists, you can’t be an artist. It’s not, you know you
go study. So I started my YouTube channel in April of 2014 but it was kind of me
talking about, “oh what can I do? I’ll do like a hair tutorial” and then I was getting to
a point where I was like, I really like this but I don’t enjoy making videos
about my hair; there’s already people that are doing it way better than me. And
I thought “Okay what am I good at? What am I good at in life?” and I remember
thinking back to this person that I watched, her name was Jamie Jo, BananaJamana, and she makes these incredible speed
paints, like honestly I’ve genuinely never seen an artist who makes work as
incredible and consistently as she does. And I’d admired her for so long that
I was like, “Okay well I could kind of do something like that I guess” but I’d
never done traditional art, it was all digital art that I’d done. So my channel in 2016, it grew more
substantially then, um, and it grew from me showing how to do some art hacks and it
was ridiculously out of the blue. I’d have been uploading videos on and off
throughout the year and it was that video that got 100,000
views in I think five days and that had never happened to me before, it was one
of those things that for some reason, it hit the algorithm for no reason whatsoever and I
went from I think 2,000 subscribers up to 10,000 in the span of a couple
of weeks, which… it was insane and it was crazy and what I think’s poignant about
this is that had it not been for that video I wouldn’t be where I am now, and
had for some reason the algorithm not looked down on me that day I probably
would not have been able to grow to where I am. And I know there are people
out there that have – there’s these websites that basically criticize a lot of
YouTube artists and I honestly have only been on there a couple of times because
I actually have no clue how to navigate their website, first of all. But I’ve seen
a few threads written on there about me, but I was also kind of, a bit, I don’t
know, I guess I got a little bit hurt in a way from it because someone had posted
my picture of Dean Winchester which is to this day still my favorite piece
that I’ve ever made, and it took me 19 hours to make and then they picked up a
screenshot of a piece I made in half an hour for a video that I’d rushed out and
to be fair, it was a terrible piece and I’ve taken that video down now because
it was embarrassingly bad. But to compare a piece that took 19 hours to a piece
that took half an hour? When I spend time on my pieces I can usually make
something that I’m proud of, but there are times when I make things and I don’t
know how to make things that I don’t necessarily spend a lot of time on that
aren’t as good, and I guess I get really paranoid every time I upload a video
where I’ve drawn something that is not necessarily what I would call my best
work because I know that people are judging me for it, so it’s trying to get
past that worry of what other people think of me. As much as I would love to
spend 19 hours on a drawing in every single video it’s just not feasible for
me, so going from something that I would do maybe eight times- six to
eight times a year, maybe a little bit more, spending you know 15 to 20 hours on
a piece – my work did look a lot better then than it would say, if you compared
it to some of the pieces I do now where I’m spending an hour or two at the most
for each video… so I guess what I’m trying to get out here is I am still
capable of what I used to make, I just don’t have the time anymore because I
used to do these 20-hour pieces in my free time, umm, as a hobby, and I guess now
that art is my job my hobbies have changed, so when I’m spending time on art
in a video I kind of want to do a hobby that’s slightly different to art I
suppose. So in 2015, that’s actually when I made this
Dean piece and I spent so long on it because what was happening in my life at
that time was really difficult. And I actually can’t talk about this time in
my life very easily. I think I’ve still failed to kind of process it fully in my
mind. My mum had a brain tumor, and… it was very difficult as I’m sure you can
imagine. It was so difficult for me because I didn’t know how to handle it
and I was so sad and, I kind of, when it was happening I went numb, and it
wasn’t till afterwards that it really really hit me what had happened, because
I tried so hard to just shut it out and pretend it wasn’t happening which is why
I think now when I talk about it, it’s really difficult for me because I’ve
still not fully, I guess, accepted that. My mum is fine now, thank God.
Um, and touch wood, there’s no wood, well there is, there’s some wood down here.
Even though her health isn’t the best, but I made this Dean piece in 2015
because it was the only thing that brought me joy, the only thing that
brought me happiness and the only thing that kept my mind busy because I
couldn’t handle all of these emotions my mind had, so it was the only thing that
could shut it up, the only thing that could keep me distracted and the only
thing that could keep me from being upset and from being sad. I honestly lost
so much of myself that year! So pouring so much of myself into that piece
was so important to me, which is why I spent so long on it I think. Because it
was just being able to keep distracted and keep busy for that long so that’s
why this piece will always be so important to me, it’s more than just a
character from a TV show for me, it’s- it’s something that I’m so proud of. So
two years ago I sat in my bedroom and I made a video about why I didn’t go to
art school. That video, it’s quite a poignant moment in my life because two
years ago nearly to the day, I was doing YouTube but it wasn’t at a point where
it was sustainable enough for me to make barely even a part-time wage from, so I’m
still studying computer science, hating it more and more. Doing YouTube, enjoying
YouTube but not being able to really make a job out of it at the time. But yeah, it
was 2017 that I made that video where I was like, “Hey you know, I don’t know what to
do with my life! What do I do?” and what’s funny is after I uploaded that video I
got a really long email from a woman named Robyn who told me she was 43 years
old and she went into a job that she went into with her head, not her heart. And she
told me to try so hard to keep at what I was doing for three years and then email
her in three years to see what had changed for me. And that was two years
ago, and when I made this video not long
after I actually applied for a job in a place down the road for me it was some
quilting factory or something, making something or other and I did not want to
do it but I was like, “it’s the closest I’m gonna get to doing anything good, at
least it’s a job, at least it’s a wage coming in.” My mum was like, “you know what,
it’s not really a job you want,” she said, “it’s your life but know that
with your dad and I you always have a home here, we will always support you” and
I’ve been very lucky in that I have such supportive parents that no matter what I
decided to do with my life I knew they would always be there to be able to
support me and to help me. And I know that a lot of people don’t have that luxury, so
I’m incredibly fortunate for that, I have the most wonderful parents in the world,
and my mum she was just like you know, again, “it’s your life, but
I think you should keep at YouTube, I think you should keep at doing this,
follow your heart, you know you’ve got a degree now, at worst case you can fall
back on it.” If it wasn’t for my mum I don’t think I would have kept at it
because I would have been too worried about the practicalities and the risks.
Keep up with the computer science because it’s guaranteed a job. So I never
went out of my way to become an artist, I never went out of my way to try to be an
artist, to um, get a job in art. It wasn’t something I ever thought that I could do
but I was so lucky that this did turn into a job for me and I’m so grateful
for that, and I’m so overwhelmingly happy that I am able to do this, and I’ve met
so many incredible people through it because of it. Hello I’m going to
interrupt really quickly, I’m editing this video at the moment. I realize I
didn’t sort of, actually talk about one of the main purposes of this video.
Because I never planned on becoming an artist, I didn’t plan to do it as a job
so I didn’t learn a lot the fundamentals that you kind of need to learn when you’re
becoming an artist so I learned them quite late, like for example I only
learned what Gesso was a couple of years ago. There was a lot of stuff that I
didn’t know about and even now I’m still learning a lot of stuff in regards to
art and being an artist in general, because I never went out of my way to
learn it or surround myself with stuff like that because it was literally just
a hobby for me. It wasn’t something that I took seriously so because of that, I um,
I kind of felt behind a lot of other artists because when I did become an
artist full-time, it was kind of like okay, well I need to learn a lot more
fundamentals that I didn’t know about before, because I was only doing this for
fun before and now it’s more serious now, people are taking me seriously, taking my
art seriously. I need to learn more. I need to learn better. I need to get
better. So kind of what you’ve witnessed me doing over the past couple of years
has been me learning myself from scratch so yeah, that- that’s what I wanted to say.
But I guess my point here is I really would love to go back to
making more pieces that took me longer and I’ve kind of been doing that behind
the scenes, not necessarily- not necessarily showing it on camera because I
find painting on camera is very stressful.
You’re constantly like, “oh my battery’s gonna die” or “people are gonna be judging
me for how this looks!” Try not to spend too long on it because I- filming my art
is taking the enjoyment out of art for me, so what I used to spend so long doing *long pause*
I don’t anymore because it took the enjoyment away from me. I want to thank
all of you as well because if it weren’t for any of you I would not be doing any
of this, and it’s because of you that this is even a thing for me. So what I want- what I
want to say to all of you is, do believe in yourself, don’t settle for anything
less than you deserve, keep making things, keep doing what makes you happy and
don’t give up because life can change so quickly, SO quickly. You know, when I was
sat on this beach all those years ago, never in my wildest dreams did I think
this would happen for me and it did and I am so grateful for it. I’m so
incredibly grateful for it and I’m so grateful for you so, no I did not
want to become an artist, not because I hated it and it’s not because I didn’t
like the idea of it, it’s just not something that ever crossed my mind, I
didn’t want to be an artist because I didn’t think I could be an artist and… I-
I could. So if that’s what you want to do with life, keep at it, keep
believing that you can do it, keep doing everything you can, keep doing research. I
think I’ve covered everything, I really hope I have. Thank you so much for
watching this video, I hope that you enjoyed it. Um, I really liked sitting down
doing this, I’m not sure if all of you watched till the end but I hope that you
did. Leave a comment below to let me know what your dreams are and what you’d like
to do with your life, I promise you if you keep at it you are gonna get so much
farther than if you don’t try at all. So thanks so much for watching this video, I
hope you enjoyed it, take care of yourselves and I will see you
in the next video. *Ocean waves in background*

100 thoughts on “I Wasn’t Supposed To Be An Artist.”

  1. Just an FYI I wasn’t trying to look like I was crying in the thumbnail 😂 I was squinting in every screenshot I got because of the sun hahaha

  2. Big big heart hug. I am 10 years into a career i don't love and feel stuck because of the student loans that got me that job (7 more years i think? 😖) but finally getting back into art and actually taking commissions, dealing with imposter syndrome and why would anyone want to buy what i make?
    I recently started live streaming, partly for the footage if i ever brave up and put a semi permanent record on youtube, but also to set myself a schedule for creating. A couple hours, a couple times a week after work has been amazing for building up a body of work and getting myself to where quitting my day job might actually be feasible. That was a big step you took, and one i wish i had taken 2 years into my degree when i realized i don't want to do what i'm doing 💜

  3. Well done. Even things that take little time, represent a process of learning and exploring that I feel most of your subscribers can relate to. Some of the pieces you are the least proud of, I enjoy so much. Your explorations are raw and relatable. Nonconstructive criticism comes from a place in the heart that is the opposite of love. It’s jealousy, insecurity, lack of self esteem. The “haters” project a mirror image of how they feel about themselves. When you read something hurtful, try try try to remember that their comment says 100% about them and 0% about you. Keep going and give yourself credit. Those videos are the ones I enjoy the MOST. So I hope you lose the discomfort associated with filming them. ❤️-Connie

  4. When you talked about your mom …. 😭 Thank you for this honnest story and … Please keep being yourself ! You are a very authentic person and every single video this is really a pleasure seeing you making what makes you happy !

  5. That's a great story Chloe. I'm glad you became a artist. It's not everyday someone can do what they love make a career out of it.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really resonated with me…. I needed this. Thank you so so much. Your art is amazing, btw, whether you spend an hour or 15 on it. Thank you again

  7. Beautiful, you, your art and most of all your message. Thanks for bringing a little joy to an otherwise dull day, keep following your heart.

  8. Loved this video, and the location is beautiful. I hope you enjoyed your vacation! I hope to get back into doing social work after a string of health problems last year. I had a promising job interview Friday and I am really hopeful after being out of work a total of about 5 months.

  9. I tried this art hack I used low quality cheap gouache paints and let them dry overnight in a palette I divided them into colors in an empty palette when it dried it was like a very good quality watercolors can u try it in a video and say your thoughts bout it plzzz

  10. I needed this. I haven't had an art class in nearly ten years, and I'm almost entirely self-taught. Sometimes it's hard to feel like I'm even "allowed" to make art, much less call myself an artist, when there's just so much I don't know.

  11. OMG! I PLAYED SMALLWORLD IT WAS AMAZING AND I WAS ADDICTED TO IT!!!!!

    sorry for being so excited I never thought someone would know this game I thought I was the only one

  12. It's so bizarre how art jobs just kind of find you when you aren't looking. I got a minimal education in art and graphic design. I took a manufacturing job last month and now I'm on staff doing graphic design part-time for them. I totally feel you about being stuck " behind the curve." Hang in there. You've made your break as an artist and that's such a cool thing!

  13. When I was in high school, I spent all my time doing art, in and out of class. It was a coping mechanism for me. People kept telling me I should go to art school, but I heard so many horror stories about college art classes and the demanding nature of it, as well as the critique. I was afraid I would not be able to produce projects and I wouldn’t handle critique well. (In fact, my first high school art teacher in freshman year scoffed at a doodle laying out on my desk and mocked me about it. I quit his class and refused to take another.)

    I was absolutely dead set on NEVER doing art for a living. I told that to every single person who asked if I was going to go to art school. It just didn’t feel possible to consider it as a career.

    Well, 15 years later, it’s all I want to do. Back then digital art was still very much an industry thing only. Tablets were hard to come by, photoshop costs hundreds of dollars. You couldn’t even fathom the idea of people making careers out of making videos or getting support just to create, like Patreon. Social media wasn’t a tool available to gain an audience for your work. Getting popular online as an artist was luck of the draw. Places like DeviantArt didn’t even have algorithms, they had people handpicking art to feature and those (often repeated) artists were the ones who would stay big in the community.

    I never could have imagined what the internet would do for creators, so I never imagined I had a chance at becoming an “professional” artist. I still have my hang ups, but personal issues aside, at least now I understand it’s an option open to me. It’s something I want to try and pursue. And it’s also why I can’t take anyone seriously who acts like the internet is some plague on society. They don’t realize how incredible it has been for creatives. Double edged sword, I know, but never has a generation had the options we do.

  14. Moms give the best advice. I can related. I had many people including teachers tell me that art isnt a job and that I couldn't make a income out of it…. last week I finally gave in an shut my art website down for a few days. I guess I just needed a break or just had to get my head on straight…. my mom asked me why I gave up… I told her I wasn't a artist through tears. She told me to put it back up and keep trying. My mom finally supports my art now. This is soo encouraging! Art is my therapy as well. I often deal with anxiety and negative thoughts, art is how I cope. I love your art jack videos and your fanart!

  15. "Don't settle for anything less than you deserve"
    This video is truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story with us❤

  16. I relate to your story so much. As a kid I used to draw every single time I could, sometimes I was so immersed in doing that that I forgot everything around me. It was my passion, something that made me so happy that I wanted to do this for the rest of my life.

    After middle school (kinda, in germany we have a pretty different school system) I started another school (similar to high school but not quite) with the main focus on art. That's where I kinda lost my passion for art. We had art class quite often in a week but we also had all other subjects like maths, english etc. too, I didn't had any friends, lived all by myself in a new city, nobody was around to help me with anything and it stressed me out so much I couldn't enjoy any art anymore. That's also the time (I was 16 years old) where my depression hit a peak and I just lived by.

    After that I struggled so much with myself and my life, that art wasn't a part of my life anymore. I didn't found joy in it anymore because my whole life seemed pointless. That continued until last year. I drew occasionally over the years but I never felt the same magic as before. In June 2018 my mental health hit rock bottom and I was ready to just drove my car against a tree and end it all. But I just didn't do it because I wanted to at least tell my mom how I felt pretty much my whole life and see how she reacts. If she would be understanding or would just tell me to "get myself together".

    My mom reacted better than I thought she would. She was the one who made me the first appointment with a therapist ever. Turned out that I had to go to the psychiatry for a while because I literally was at rock bottom with my mental health that I needed some time outside my known environment. I lost my job because of that but both my parents insisted that I should take all the time I needed to get better and that they would be there for me. Since then I'm still in treatment – not in the psychiatry anymore, I was there for just 8 weeks and after that I was 12 weeks in a psychatric day unit and after that 5 weeks in a rehabilitation facility – but over the last couple months I began exploring art again. And it is really helping me get back a purpose in my life. So many people told me in the past year how good I am at art and that I shouldn't stop doing it ever again. That I should make something out of it, that this is what I should do for a living. Even my mom is so supportive of this idea.

    Currently I'm still looking for a new job and not even one that involves art in any form, because I want to re-explore it as a hobby that I'm passionate about again but I created a Twitter for my art to post it and to maybe motivate me to keep on drawing. Your videos are also a reason why I'm excited to do art again. You always seem so happy and enthusiastic when you try some new art supplies or techniques, it's so – for me at least – therapeutic to see how you have so much fun doing art. Even if it was a learning process for you. You never stop learning, your whole life is a learning process. There isn't a guideline how to be an proper artist or what you should know as a real artist. I think as long as you do art because you are passionate about it and have fun doing it then you ARE a real artist! So keep up your wonderful work, don't think about the "right" way to do art or else it wouldn't be your art. It's beautiful as it is and I'm really thankful that you found your way on youtube.

    Sorry for the long text but I needed to get it off my chest after seeing your video. I hope you have a wonderful vaccation!

    Thank you! <3

  17. omg I'm suffering from the same problem I'm in grade 12 in high school … and I have always wanted to be a programmer because I like the idea of a programmer and coding but I I've always loved art but not to the point that I knew that I was good at and I everyone told me that I'll be a starving artist and universities of art are not good in Egypt because 🇪🇬I'm from Egypt and it's better to be an engineer or computer engineer then be an artist and have unstable income so you have really encourage me so so much to follow my dreams and not to be afraid and not put so much effort in something that I know it's not my place and it's not what I wanted to win 10 to 20 years from now so thank you thank you so much for your video like I've been searching for videos like this and stories like this like I need someone to encourage me to do what I love cheese art and tell me that it's ok I won't be a starving artist so thank you so much again greetings from Egypt

  18. This video hit home for me. I have wanted to be an artist since I was little. But I never felt like I was good enough. I have a lot of mental and physical illnesses that stops me from going out to get a normal job so I tried to set up my own business where I made candles. I thought that it would be easier to sell candles than art because everyone wants their home to smell nice. At first, the business was doing really well but I wasn't enjoying the process of making the candles. It just wasn't my heart. Last month, I had to close my shop temporarily due to low sales.

    I want to become an artist but I just am not sure where to start. The last few weeks, I have been sat at my art desk with everything I could possibly need to create, but still haven't created… My mind is just blank. I think it's because I am putting so much pressure on myself to create.

    Anyways, I say all of this to say I am thankful that you made this video but it just shows all of us watching that we can make our dreams come true

    I'm sorry I am so behind on your videos. Theres a storm today so will be catching up so you will see a lot of comments from me today on different videos. Sorry!!!

  19. Ive always wanted to be a comic artist and a cosplayer. Over the years I have put so much time and money into making my dreams come true. Earlier this year I finally got to go to Nakakon for the first time and wear my cosplay. And I was exhausted, but I felt so fulfilled. When I cosplay, it kind of feels like living out my art, or bringing a character I love to life. And I love the feeling. Im trying to focus again on my comics and stories, I had stopped drawing as much when I left home for a year to go to a trade school. Now that im back, finding the motivation to look for a job is hard, and it seems pointless. Maybe its just me, but i know I'll never be happy if i dont make a living out of what i love. The world doesnt value that as much, but I do. And when i talk to my parents about these things, my dad goes quiet, and my mom tries to persuade me to go to college and pick something else. It hurts me more than anything. I want to be happy, but I want my parents to be proud.

  20. I am really surprised you didn't go into graphic design or interior design since you are very artsy…granted a lot of my friends who art artist types have gone into those fields or in fashion or cosmetology.

  21. I lost my dad when I was 19 (5yrs ago) He had chronic illness but went down hill really suddenly. Hearing about your story with your mom had me tearing up because of my own history too. I am so glad your mom is still here and supports you. *Sending huge hugs that I need as much as you do ❤️

  22. Im an amateur fashion illustrator that uses croquis auto draw on. my dream is to make and sell my own fashion illustrations. Mind you I have 9 years worth of fashion illustratations and I have my parents telling me to get rid of the old ones and every time I hear that it makes me feel like a failure

  23. Thank you Chloe. You are such an inspiration. My dream is to open a shop where I sell all my creations. Cards, re-finished furniture, ornaments, crochet and knitted items, quilted and sewn…. I love crafts and I love creating and I love sharing them with others. I just never think they are good enough, even when they are. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I think I will keep at my dreams a little bit longer now because of you <3

  24. To be honest im not complete sure what i want to do….its still kinda confusing for me although i think i want to be an artist im not as good yet but im sure ill be if i continue to practice which i haven't been doing😫

  25. Hey. I have an idea, why don't you apply as a student art teacher. Go to art classes, help people who are far behind where you are and learn at the same time.

  26. OMG that Dean piece is insanely good. 19 hours is a lot of work, but when I compare what you were able to create in 19 hours and what I was able to…well, I've a really long way to go. I guess some people are just naturally gifted like yourself, the rest of us are scrambling to be half as good after 3 x as long. lol. Don't get me wrong, I like the things I create, but I don't think they'd ever be good enough to sell them. And you're right there''s no way you can compare a 30min quick piece with something that took 19 hours of deep concentration.

    Life is weird, it takes you on paths you could never imagine, all you can do is follow what makes you happy. Create what you enjoy and ignore the haters (they clearly have nothing better to do with their time).

  27. I'm in kind of a same situation rn. I have always felt like i am only capable of doing maths even tho i always liked doing some art (I'm terrible at it tho xd). I want to become a computer scientist but i also love drawing. I'm choosing to learn IT, however i hope to learn art later in my life. Thank u for your story, i kinda feel you

  28. This came out on my birthday, and I’ve watched this video 3 times since then.

    I have always been an artist, ever since I first picked up markers at 2 or 3 years old. But I was always told that “art isn’t a real job.” So, I made it a hobby and instead tried to focus on pleasing everyone around me.

    But things have changed over the years. I’m 20 now, going to college for a New Media degree. I still draw in my free time and hope that I’ll still have the creative drive 10, 20, 30 years down the road.

    The point I’m trying to make is that this video is what I needed to hear, especially over these past few weeks.

    So thank you, Chloe, for making this. Hearing your story has made me realize that I’m not alone in the struggle of “What am I going to do with my life?” You have been an inspiration to me for about two years now. Your videos make me laugh on days where I just want to cry, and laugh harder on days where I can’t stop smiling.

    Keep being yourself. 😘

  29. The honesty of this video got me hard. This is so real and relatable, though on a different scale. Thank you for sharing.

  30. Art is a hobby of mine I really enjoy doing art I like to try new things and experiement with my art

  31. I actually really needed to watch something like this! decisions right now that I need to make and that I really don’t know how I’m gonna make them. You are an amazing artist, and always do what you want to do cause you are great at it and thank you for the advice ♥️👏🏽

  32. Someone explain to me why I didn't watch this when it came out. Your story went straight to my heart and I think you are so incredibly brave. ♥️

  33. I can't draw for shit but I love your videos and your art. Those critic websites can say whatever they want but they're wasting their time not making art of their own.

  34. This video made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Thank you for making it, and thank you for doing what you do. ♥️

  35. This hit me in the feels. Chloe, whether your initial plan was or was not to be an artist, you were absolutely SUPPOSED to be here, doing this, inspiring people with your talent, your grace, your voice and your humility. You are a rare soul and I'm really grateful that I stumbled across your channel, and that you put your heart on canvases for us all to learn from week after week. Thank you for this.

  36. Such a great message. I hope all creative young people can watch it. The world needs more than coders, scientists, doctors, etc. We need poets, dreamers, philosophers, writers, and artists of all kinds.

  37. love this – thank you, I've got back into art recently after a 15-year gap.
    I have depression and I find painting on canvas & creating a great way to escape & something even to enjoy and look forward too. So thank you for this positive moment.

  38. I think you are an amazing artist and person! Don’t let any haters bring you down!! You inspire me to do art for fun!

  39. I have done the same job for 37 years. I have taught art and music for the last ten. Do what you feel happy with. Don't compromise.

  40. Have you ever had to deal with friends who wanted you to paint them a painting for free? I have just been going through this and don't know what to say if this happens again. I need advise.

  41. Don’t pressure yourself- we love you just as you are. Your channel is amazing and you’re incredibly relatable!

  42. Thank you so much for making this video! You've really encouraged me 🙂 have you seen Unicorn Store? It's a Netflix movie about an artist trying to follow her dreams. It's directed by/stars Brie Larson!

  43. I do not know if I want to be an architect and engineer or a teacher. I have to choose to go to university. I also love art but I was always afraid that if I studied it or if I tried to do it as kind of my job it would be removed from being my hobby hence I have never studied it. It has helped me through difficult times and it is also a reason why I am afraid that I would lose it from being my hobby.

    You have inspired me a lot. Thanks for your videos.

  44. I really enjoyed your video. I was in a similar situation as you. I went to University to study Asia for 3 years. I always loved Asia so I thought I should study it and find a job related to it. But at the end of the bachelor, I didn't know what to do. I didn't enjoy the program only the languages classes. So after wondering and being worried about my future, I end up doing a tv and cinematography program for a year. But this field is so hard and it's difficult to find a job if you don't have any contacts. It was really hard for me at that time. I wasn't able to pay my rent fully and I was working part-time in a job that I didn't like. But I kept believing and I found a job in Marketing where I can create and also do video editing. I love art and I feel the need to create so I fulfill this aspect in my new job and I also video editing which is something I like really much. Continue to be awesome Chloe!!! 🙂

  45. I am glad that you become an artist. You are amazing. By the way i am bioinformatician and i use the paiting and drawing as stress relief 😉

  46. You shouldn’t be ashamed about not knowing what certain things are, you’ll always be learning something new every day

  47. This really got to me because while I'm not a YouTuber, I was making a decent headway on Twitch. But both my parents hit me with "When are you moving out?" "Why don't you try working for a living?" "You don't know what work is." etc etc. I paid my bills and everything on my own (I still lived with them) and I wasn't making great money about what I would make working a retail job. Instead chose to go and pursue something else (which I like) just so I can move out and get away from them. I almost started crying because I used to wish that my parents would support me or at least not put me down for what I did but I just made the decision to work hard at a getting a "guaranteed" job and so I can get out of here and I never have to speak to them again. It's good to get that off my chest. I don't think that my content creation dreams are dead, but it feels like by the time I get settled it will be too late and there'll be too many people creating content. But sometimes that's life and I have to live with the parents I got.

  48. Inspirational video. I'm so glad your Mum is okay now. I can empathise with you sooooo much. I went into the 'rat race' to earn a great salary, buy a house etc, but deep down – my heart was never really in my job – I did it for the money, to pay my bills etc. Years later, whilst I was on Maternity leave, I finally had time to really sit and think about whether or not I wanted to return to my old job….I then had 4 years career break, looking after my little family..but I decided at the end of it – I did NOT want to return to the rat race. I followed my heart, not my head.
    I've been working for myself now – for 2 years, I have NO regrets about not going back to my old job. It's been a financial struggle, it still is….but, I'm finally happy in my work – I love what I do, the money will eventually come my way, as orders increase….but money isn't my primary goal any more. Being happy, being there for my little family…working in an area that I love….that's what matters to me.
    I think back, all the subjects I loved at School – they're still my core subjects that I'm interested in today – I've always been artistic, I haven't really changed. It just became hidden, when I allowed 'others' to dictate which area of work I should go in to. I love being a Artisan. Each day excites me – rather than the dreaded sound of the alarm clock going off, when I worked for others. I love working for myself, with my own business. My advice….follow your heart, it knows what you need – before you do! All the best! Subscribed x

  49. My dream is to one day be with the woman I love and have a family together and to have my kids grow up in a loving and arty environment.

  50. I just love your honesty, your channel, your art and most of all your crazy humor. You’re my favorite on YouTube and you are my go to YouTube channel when I need a laugh and inspiration ❣️👍🏻👍🏻. Keep up the hard work and don’t pay any attention to the haters, they have nothing better to do in their pitiful lives. You rock Chloe 🎉⭐️😄

  51. My favorite thing to do is draw, and thanks to you, I am improving and I am inspired by you. I'm not giving up, and I think I will be as successful as you are.

  52. So listen I found this channel like a month ago. And I was watching an old video and you mentioned, please watch next weeks video. So I went back and found the video from the week after the one I was watching (does that make sense). Sitting here, I started to like low key cry when you said something like “I went in a job with my head instead of my heart, because I was scared. Computer science will always have a paycheck. Art won’t”. This spoke to such a big struggle in this high school girls life and then I started high key crying. Because that thing I paraphrased is how I feel about international relations (something I’m interested but I’m not sure if my hearts in it) and musical theatre (I love to perform and sing but am sooooooooooo scared of a career that isn’t stable). Hearing that just reminded me to keep my heart open, trust it, do what you love and now, when I apply to colleges, maybe I’ll take a few theatre classes. 💖

  53. I really wish people would not equate building a website with computer science, computer science is soooo complex in many areas and covers sooo many areas, even more now and it will only increase. It's almost as annoying as people who think programming = html/css, it really doesn't, go on search for "programming tutorials." I know, I've done a computer science degree.

    So pleased for you that you've managed to find osmething you can do and yeah, with parent's who can help it's much easier. I'm in the situation now where I need a new job as this one isn't going to last, I'm looking at going back to programming and then I can, hopefully, find the time to learn art and maybe even document it here too.

  54. Thank you for talking about this and for sharing such difficult things to share. I haven't made art much since junior high, and I'm 20 now. My best friend just passed away from suicide in March and I've been using art to focus on anything but that. When you were talking about 2015 and how art was the only thing that distracted you, that is very similar to how I feel right now. Thank you for your videos in general and for aiding in my distraction.

  55. I would be interested in a video/list about what you had to learn. I am at a similar crossroad as you were and am interested in what you learned/ how you learned. I would also like to say thanks for the motivation and encouragement as well.

    Youtube wouldn't be the same without you.

  56. OMG I didn't realize you were the artist behind that Dean Winchester piece. I think I love you and your channel even more now.

  57. Your art work is truly amazing, and I love your videos. Keep up the good work. For me, my dream job would be a boudoir photographer who specializes in those who feel unattractive, dislike their pictures being taken, and turn it around to where they enjoy the shoot, and they come out with a better outlook on themselves. So I guess in a way, photo therapist.

  58. I know I'm late to comment, but I wanted to say that there is no criteria that you must meet to be able to call yourself an 'artist.' You are creating, you are an artist. 🙂 Work in a way that makes you happy.

  59. By being a youtuber on here and doing art you are giving other people inspiration and you are being a big influence on some people. So you are giving other people what you didn't have and you are showing us the viewers that we should continue doing what we love and that being an artist is a job, a real job that you can make money from and have a decent life
    I am one of those people

  60. Thank you so much for sharing this. Some parts of your story reminded me of things in my life.
    I enjoy your channel and hope you can continue doing what you love, whatever that may be as time goes on.

  61. I'm 71. I've been drawing since I could hold a crayon. I've been in the Navy (Hospital Corpsman), an EMT, a counselor, and an assortment of other things. I was told, early on, that artists can't make a living doing what they love. Only now, having sold my very first drawing, am I realizing what I might have done with the slightest encouragement. Keep doing what you love, Chloe. Do it now.

  62. I needed to hear this, I would like to see more videos of you talking about your journey. Thank you for making this you never know who it’s helping

  63. Hi Chloe, your videos recently appeared in my reccs, and I’ve been binge watching for the past few days. Watching this video rekindled my inspiration, and you’ve relit a fire in me that has just been gently smouldering away for some time. I create art journal spreads and I love it, but watching you has made me want to get back into creating in other ways. I have MS and struggle sometimes to create even for a short time, but I try to create a little something every day. Thank you for being so honest in this video, it was very generous of you to share your story publicly, I love your work and can’t wait to see more videos! 👍💜☺️

  64. You are truly amazing…..absolutely agree with you! I also had a similar experience at a young age, my father had a brain tumour, at 15 dad passed away, I’m now 60 and still think of him daily and still cry,. I’m on a journey learning different art and multimedia . I love watching your channel and I wish you tons of success in your journey ❤️

  65. Thank you so much for this video. I am trying to get my work out there but it can be really disheartening sometimes when nobody seems to like what I do. I love making videos and making art, and I sometimes feel like quitting, but this reminded me to keep going 😄

  66. You are strong you are beautiful and so graceful. I lost my mum in 2011 I was only 24 and it’s just as hard today. I’m happy your mum is still with you and I pray you have a lot of time together still memories to make. It ok to struggle your not alone 🦋🦋🦋

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