How To Be A Man

For approximately 80 years, the notion of
what a man should be like has been heavily influenced by the idea of ‘cool’. The
cast of seductively cool figures includes: Humphrey Bogart Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marcello Mastroianni, James Bond, Bob Dylan, Ryan Gosling and Benedict Cumberbatch The cool
man doesn’t try too hard, you don’t see them floundering about in a panic – but
they succeed anyway. They are physically confident, they can scale a mountain or saunter down
a deserted street in the middle of the night; if they have to kill someone they will do
it neatly with minimal fuss; they don’t worry, they are self-contained and sure of
themselves; their trousers are always a perfect fit; they express themselves briefly – but
their words are always to the point; they’re not meek in the face of authority; but they
don’t crave power themselves: they are independent. The essential characteristic of the cool man
is an aura of invulnerability, well handled: without any showing off or bragging. When
the house is on fire, the cool man doesn’t scream or call the fire brigade; ‘temperature’s
rising, baby’, he quips to his current girlfriend as she emerges from the shower. Then he casually
puts out the blaze himself. When the waiter spills a cocktail over him, the cool man doesn’t
get flustered; he removes his jacket and looks even better in his shirt. When his boss is
being difficult, the cool man smiles ironically: he can walk away from the job at any moment.
This is what, as a man, one is supposed to be like. For decades some of the most astute
and creative minds have devoted themselves to making this notion of masculinity attractive
– it’s been portrayed as enviable, seductive to women, and well-dressed. And the image
has worked: it’s what you need to be a real man. And – perhaps daily – this model
of manhood tortures us with the gap between its ideals – and our reality. THE WARM MAN
But there’s another – more realistic and more important – vision of what a good man
is like that’s (comparatively) been given very much less attention and creative encouragement.
This is the very opposite of the cool man, what we call: the warm man. The warm man does
not put out many fires by himself. He hasn’t killed anyone either. He is, instead, very
much alive to his own anxiety. He would drop the gun and would tell you quite candidly
he had done so. What is distinctive, and admirable, is his relationship to this anxiety. He is
aware of it, honest about it, funny with it – and yet not overwhelmed by it. The warm
man has a good sense of how demented and fragile we all are. So he goes out of his way to reassure,
to be forgiving and to be gentle. He has tried very hard, at times, to get things to work
out better for himself but it frequently hasn’t worked. The warm man has known many sorrows:
he has done stupid things, he has lost people he loved, he has made daft decisions. His
weaknesses have made him immensely generous to others. When the waiter spills the cocktail,
the warm hero laughs (he has spilled a few himself) and leaves a generous tip if he can.
When he forgets someone’s name (which he does quite often) the warm hero is ashamed
but frank and says – sincerely – ‘I’m really sorry, and very embarrassed, but it’s
slipped my mind… forgive me, help me out…’ . When they’ve messed up at work, the warm
person admits it, feels sorry, openly apologises and explains as best he can what actually
went wrong and how he might be put it right in future. The essence of the warm man is
vulnerability well-handled; he is conscious of his flaws and failings but uses this knowledge
to become interestingly humorous and a rich source of sympathy for the secret troubles
of every life he encounters. Ideally, one day, it will be as desirable to be called warm as
it currently is to be labelled ‘cool’; there will be lists of the 40 warmest men
under 40; boys will come home from school and complain to their mothers: ‘I can’t
do it, I can’t, I don’t know how to be warm’; girls at fashionable bars will take
mental notes of where the warm guys are sitting; and in the secret soul of every man there
will be a quiet, steady yearning to be as warm as they possibly can. We love bringing you these films. If you want to help us to keep bring thoughtful content. Please consider supporting us by visiting our shop at the link on your screen now.

100 thoughts on “How To Be A Man”

  1. Ryan Gosling you’ve got to be kidding? And cool… Benedict Cumberbatch? WTF! Have you not read his tweets?? You can’t really expect much from the School of life. The narrator sounds like a guardian reading social worker. 😉

  2. It is amazing how this video is telling us the old stereotype is wrong and the new one is right. Of course both are wrong. This channel will never dare to make a video on how to be a woman, that would be very wrong according to current standards, however, this channel finds it completely acceptable to impose a paradigm on men. Be careful what paradigm you follow, create your own path.

  3. Relax boys, this is not the case yet, being warm gets you dates with your hand.
    (Unless she’s hit the wall and looking to settle down with a beta male to pay her way)

  4. And a man forgives without taking it on heart, but does his work by his heart. And a man orders his mind for intentions and listens to his heart like a lover.

  5. That seems like the definition of a cuck. A man makes things happen, turns dreams into reality. It always has been that way. In the past it was hunting food, nowadays it's making companies for instance. There are men who are arrogant and men who are nice but that doesn't say if they are any less than the other. Now make a video on how to be a woman…

  6. Yes Brainwashing propaganda campaigning TUBE is SON a roll of youtube to. bullshit storming with norman☝️💩👈☝️ you tell em

  7. Barack Obama= Cool
    George W Bush=Warm
    George H Bush=Room Temp
    Donald Trump=Cold
    Bill Clinton=Warm
    Ronald Reagan= Warm
    Jimmy Carter=Room Temp
    Gerald Ford=Warm
    Dick Nixon=Hot
    Lyndon Johnson = Hot

  8. Why would I want to be a man? Men are jokes. Nothing more than dullards bullies and brutes. And James Bond was a rapist.

  9. Im warm as hell. Before watching this video i thought that im losing my masculinity because of how warm i was. But now i think its better to be both cool and warm at times

  10. Real man is capable , puts out fires . Being useless is not a virtue ….being weak is not warm it’s a target for exploitation …strong man protects others from that …

  11. This little guy hardly qualifies as a man. Here is how to be a man:

    1) Carry yourself with honor and decency at all times. This means living a life of integrity and constantly asking, 'is this right?' Don't kiss ass to get ahead. No ass kisser has the right to profess manhood. Don't treat your employees badly just for the hell of it. Don't take credit for the ideas of others. Live with honor.
    2) Be yourself at all times and be comfortable in your own skin. Don't claim to be Christian and live a life of hedonistic debauchery. Don't tell ppl what they want to hear without believing it yourself. Act the same way at work as you do on the street. Always be your real self.
    3) Don't participate in gossip/hearsay/jealousy, etc. Mind your own business and stay out of everyone else's. Never mindlessly believe gossip without fact-checking what was said.
    4) Never give up, never back down, and never take any shit. Don't start a fight but don't back down from one either.
    5) Get your money right. Save money. Don't live paycheck to paycheck and be MasterCard's bitch your whole life. A real man will take charge of his bottom line – and do so without kissing ass, being a pet, backstabbing, etc.
    6) Discipline yourself. Pump iron. Learn martial arts. Eat ghost peppers. Learn to take the pain and come back stronger. I am probably the strongest person mentally I've ever met. I got there by pushing beyond my limits for many years. Live a healthy, addiction-free lifestyle.
    7) Give back. Donate money. Give blood. Whatever works for you. Real men want to leave the world better than they found it.

    There you go, son. That's how to be a real man.

  12. The female brain has only two poles: Cold mode and Hot mode. A seductive well manipulative man, knows to keep his woman in hot mode while diminishing any possible effects of the cold mode

  13. This would be valid 60 years ago. Men being emasculated by rampant feminism need to be militant and not cool or warm. Civil war demands a soldier not some silly big screen character like James Bond.

  14. ….And the warm man comes home to find the cool man in bed with his wife…the cool man knows the the warm man will not do anything so he walks off calmly and sure of himself..

  15. Dont get what the point of this vid the "Cold Man" bangs more and have more sauce so the "Warm Man" looks like a clown has it shown by the vid

  16. I am actually not sure how to be man. Wish someone would teach me. I have a hard to doing my job because I am squeamish.

  17. How interesting…this channel is probably one of the Best things that happened in my life. My Thoughts Spoken in Similar way by the Tongues of others.

    I’ll stay a Warm man and I’ll accept and learn from my Mistakes but I’d rather watch other’s mistakes and learn from them.

  18. It's all bollocks. You want to know what a man is? A slave to the wellbeing of those who depend on him. Its fuck all to do with image, how you walk, what you wear or how you talk. These things are facile and pretentious. A tree is only as good as its roots. If you want to be great amongst men you must be a slave to all humanity. A true leader is a servant. So humble yourself boys, put everybody on a pedestal above yourself and strive to serve their needs. Most things in life are contradictions. If you think you're stronger than everybody else you'll appear as weak, if you think your smarter then you'll appear stupid. If you think yourself as a slave you'll appear as a leader and a man that will draw others like a magnet. We need more men in this western civilisation we've crafted coz the wolves are amongst the chickens. Men dont exist to serve themselves, they exist to lead and protect the weak

  19. As a 71 year old man with a 50 year marriage, four grown daughters, and six little grandchildren, I agree with the warm man idea one hundred percent.

  20. Wow it's gonna take a lot of work.. I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about this concept,,, to flip it upside down… The whole mindset. So the best suggestion for now and for ever would be "be you" . Strongly and passionately.. No negotiations and compromises… Try being the best version of you.

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